so this guy on tiktok

so this guy on tiktok

so this guy
on tiktok spins tales
of how
he now
sells houses
in italy
for a dollar
and he's cute looking
sort of
so i believed him. 

he said,

"message me
people, and i'll show you
the tea"

he didn't say tea
per se
but something like that

so this guy
on tiktok said
in his italian accent
so fine
like wine
he came here
and found
this land
is really paved
in gold
and he raked it
all together
put it in his pocket
and now he’s back
to italy
selling
houses in a quaint 
italian village 
for a dollar
to everyone on tiktok
like me!

and he knows a guy
that will fix it up

“what else is up”, i think

a guy who knows a guy
wow just like when i
lived
in brooklyn
behind the train tracks
there was always a guy
who knows a guy
who knows a guy

so this guy
on tiktok said,
omg! whatever he said
it was like
the movie
Under the Tuscan Sun
is for real!
the lady that cried
her way out of
america 
and onto a tour bus
in italy to nurse
her heartbreak 
and
jumped off the bus 
and bought 
a broken down
mansion and the
whole town
fixed it up alongside her
while she cried
over a guy
and then

what do you know
once again
she found love
in town square
at a fountain
and lived happily
ever after

ok i made the happily ever after part up
but i’m sure that’s what
happened
after the
movie credits
rolled 

so i said “YES!”
to tiktok italian guy
a house for a dollar
i’ll take one
please
and i’m off to see
the cute-ish guy
on tiktok in italy
i have my one creased dollar
it's all that i have left
after buying plane
tickets for me
and my kids

and off we traipse!
who needs a car
who needs a place
it's real, people
the movies are real

starting with the
matrix,
by now you must know
there’s a matrix

(hint: we’re in it!)

let’s leave that’s how
we win it
it’s a game you
know
that you can leave
so leave the matrix
and follow
cute guys on tiktok
it's never
too
late

to buy a house for a dollar